Avril Louise Clarke is a highly respected sexologist and intimacy coordinator who is passionate about helping people enhance their sexual and intimate relationships. With years of experience in the field, Avril has become a trusted expert in the areas of sexual health, communication, and pleasure. In this blog, we will explore Avril's insights and advice, and discover how we can all improve our sexual and intimate connections.
1: Tell us about your journey.. You are originally from Miami and now live in Spain? What was the driving force behind this expat lifestyle?
I graduated from Florida International University in 2015 and applied to be an Auxiliar de Conversacion, or a Language Assistant through El Ministerio de Educacion, Cultura y Deporte. The idea was I was going to move to Madrid for one year and live with my best friend who was in the same program. Her family is Spanish and she was born in Madrid and we both had E.U. passports, so I thought why not? I ended up getting placed randomly in Ibiza at a primary school there. I decided to go for it anyway! Once I landed in Ibiza, I just knew I had to stay. Although I am now in Barcelona, Ibiza will always be my home.
2:You are a sexologist and intimacy coordinator! What does this mean and involve? What do you do for your high profile clients?
I get to talk about sex for a living! Which is just the greatest. I wear many different “hats” being a sexologist, I mainly work in therapeutic and educational settings. I help people become more confident and feel safe in their sexuality and relationships. I work on set of adult films as an intimacy coordinator, meaning I am liaison between production crew and sex workers, being a support for their sexual and emotional wellbeing in pre, during, and post production. It’s a really lovely experience and I have the honor of working with some amazing clients.
3: We are a community of female expats, digital nomads and entrepreneurs. What advice do you have for singletons looking for sexual relationships and may have lost their ‘Mojo’ so to speak?
This is a very common experience, especially within the immigrant world. There are so many stressors involved. I mean, when you’re so busy looking for jobs, finding community, possibly even a home in a whole new country - the last thing your brain is likely seeking is intimacy. Perhaps not, but dating in a new country and perhaps in a new language can be quite the challenge too.
4: For our long standing couples out there - what advice would you give women looking to refresh or kick start their ‘dead end’ sex lives or create longevity in the bedroom? Do you advise sex toys?
Absolutely. Toys! They can be a game changer in a relationship - and by relationship I mean with yourself, then with a partner. The key is finding out what feels good to you (location, sensation, touch) and learning how to communicate that to your partner. There is a great experience you can share with a lover, which is called mutual masturbation. You masturbate in front of them and show them what you like and how you like it. It’s like an x-rated show and tell time for partners.
5: What are your key/ top tips for good sexual health?
Get tested for STIs regularly, Clean your sex toys often with warm water and a mild soap, don’t fall into the trap that you need anything scented to “freshen up” your vulva before sex - it’s not natural and can be harmful to your body.
6: Tell us more about ‘The Porn Conversation’!
The Porn Conversation (TPC) is a non-profit project I manage alongside Erika Lust. Erika Lust is a mother and one amazing adult film maker. TPC is a porn literacy educational platform for educators and families of kids and teens. With a lack of sex education, porn has become the new sex ed for many. No matter how you feel about porn (I personally love it), it comes with messages, so we teach people how to remain critical of the messages it sends about sex, respectful relationships, bodies, racism, and the fetishisation of Black, Indigenous, People of Colour. Porn can bring a lot of misleading thoughts and assumptions about sex, so through teaching porn literacy, we hope to challenge this.
7: What has been your weirdest sexual encounter? (or one you have heard of)?
Oof - I am not too sure about weirdest! I will say there have been funny occasions, and that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Sex doesn’t have to be so serious. Have fun with it and laugh a little. That’s where the magic happens.
8: Where would you say are the ‘Sexiest’ destinations on earth?
Miami! I have to represent my home town. Ibiza and Formentera in Spring and Fall for a skinny dip on a deserted beach.
9: What are your top tips for building more intimacy in a relationship? How do women who may have a lot of baggage/issues/ walls go deeper in a relationship?
Just be yourself. Everyone has a history, and perhaps not all of it is perfect - but that’s life. Nothing is perfect. Honesty, trust, and respect and the most key elements in any relationship - whether it is a friendship, a one night stand, a situationship, an open relationship, or a marriage.
10: Where have you traveled to or been that really inspired you in work and life?
I recently traveled to Dublin to present at a 1200 person event and talk about my work. My dad moved from Ireland in the 80s to Miami and I grew up in a VERY Irish Catholic household. Being able to laugh, play and inform Irish people about my work and to see how excited and receptive they are to it brought tears to my eyes.
Connect with Avril:
Avril hosts private events, talks, and therapy - especially within the expat community!
Thank you so much! :)